Little Black Dress

I for one hope that dress doesn't creep up any higher, or those kids are gonna get one heck of a free show. And the fishnets with the boots, let me just tell you, that is a winning combination right there. I'm not sure who, or what, she's trying to attract in this outfit, but, hey, it is Canal Fest, and if you're looking for another weirdo to complete you, then you've probably come to the right place to find your soul mate.

Too sexy for my shirt

The fact the crowd backed away to leave him on his own should say enough. But Mr. Miyagi's retarded cousin here knows how to have a good time. I should be happy he's at least wearing a shirt, but the cartoon spider on there really makes you wonder what his intentions are. Maybe he should go back to his windowless van and attempt to lure the children in with candy, not beer.

NT Diva

Straight from the red carpet to Canal Fest...wow, talk about a fall from Grace. How bad must she feel that she is not walking the streets of Beverly Hills, but instead North Tonawanda. No paparazzi here to watch your every move and make you famous...oh wait. I supposed there was to some degree. Anyways, maybe she's upset because one of the "townies" swiped her favorite Prada bag. Or maybe she just now realized where she was. Either way, bummer.

Shaman of Sexy

"Shirt: tight. Pants: tighter. Hair: flowing...sexiness achieved. Chin up, now strut..." Normally in this situation, I would recommend trying on pants just a size or so bigger. But instead, I see this as a very important part of evolution. Spencer coined the term "survival of the fittest." Darwin called it "natural selection." But this is "self regulated population control." Witness the limited blood flow to certain areas in the name of fashion. So, strut away, Fabio...strut away.

I'm Coming Elizabeth

Better get out of his way before he give's you a knuckle sandwich. Oh, Fred Sanford, what'll you do next? And yes, that's a "Sanford and Son" reference. The young-ens may need to look that up. I'll never understand the socks. As you get older, the socks get higher. It can't be about staying warm, because you could just wear pants. Or in this case, sleeves. Comfort, maybe? But to me, I think that would be more restrictive, and therefore less comfortable. This is as confusing to me as is Astrophysics, Calculus and people's attraction to the Twilight Saga.

Supa Dupa Fupa! [Redux]

[Please stand by for a very important message.] Hello everyone. I come to you with a serious message. We removed a post. I know, it comes as a shock. So I'll pause to let you take that in. ... Ready? Good. This post is dedicated to those who hide behind anonymous comments, crying, complaining, and trying to cause problems. Yeah, see, this "hiding" stuff goes both ways. So, there! It's a freaking joke, people! Suck it up! If you don't like it, don't visit! ::clears throat:: Sorry. Anyways, turns out, some people like to have issues with things we post and write. In most situations, we simply laugh and make fun of them, only privately off of the blog. But democratically, the board of directors and I decided to remove the post in question. It hurt, thinking of all the hard work that went into it, but we did it. Did I cry? Maybe a little. But that's besides the point. In it's place, we post this. We'll simply allow the great people who visit us to make up their own comments. We here at People of Canal Fest are simply here to entertain. For those who don't appreciate our humor, well, you are entitled to your opinion, but then again, you do have the option of not visiting. Because that's what America was built on. Freedom. And greed, but mostly the other stuff. This is the internet. 90% porn, 8% crude and lewd sites, and 2% information. Margin of error, 2%. We will continue to do what we do best...be immature, make crude and tasteless jokes, and quite possibly offend absolutely everyone. At least until 2012 when the world ends...yeah, sure it will. In closing, continue to feel free to express yourself via comments, and we will continue making fun of unsuspecting people, because that's just what we do. Thank you America, and good night. [We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.]

Tickle Me Emo

Oh, emo culture. There's just so much I don't understand about you. I mean, take this for example. The clothing...obviously female-ish. The person...obviously male...I think. But why? In my day, we called somebody who wore woman's clothes a cross-dresser, or Boy George. Sorry, that's not "P.C." anymore. Now, you're just confused or expressing yourself. How 'bout you turn off the Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance, stop crying, go out, and be a useful member to society.

Quit Your B*tchin'

I can only imagine the meal conversations between these two. Yikes. And what really sums up the spirit of the Tonawandas and Canal Fest better than a wife beater with some custom airbrush work. "Martha, where's my good "going out" shirt? The one that reminds me of you? Martha? Martha!" You know, I bet torpedo boobs here could handle herself pretty well in a fight. I'm gonna take the Mrs in three rounds.

Easy Rider

I respect the fact you believe your jacket, bandana and boots and make you look cool. But, seriously, if the temperature outside is 85 plus, and the humidity hovers anywhere over 80%, there is no reason to wear all that. I'm sure the his cleanliness could be called into question any day of the week, but add in the amount of sweating he must be doing in that jacket, and I don't want to be within twenty feet of him. Eh, maybe thirty feet.

Them Bones

First of all, ewww. Ok now, I don't care hot warm it is out, there comes a time when your age limits your clothing choices. God forbid Skeletor's top slips down and gives the Canal Fest faithful a show they will never forget...even after many years of therapy. I don't want to see my daughter in something like this, never mind my mother...or my grandmother. Age appropriateness goes both ways.

The Nasty Boyz

Unfortunately, despite having the same number of combined teeth as Knobbs and Sags of WWF fame, the similarities end there. Safe to say I don't think there is any worry about these two using steroids. Odds are they haven't seen the inside of a gym in the past ten years. But despite all this, they proudly wear their belts in public, in "cool" over-the-shoulder fashion, when in fact only three people and the other wrassler's girlfriends watched them "win".

King of the Wild Frontier

I'd swear he's wearing a coonskin cap. And if that's the case, then we got our first celebrity picture. Davy Crockett, everybody! ... What's that? ... Well, who else would wear a dead raccoon on top of their head? ... It's not a raccoon? ... It's his hair!? Nooooo, it can't be. ... Really?! Wow, he must use conditioner. Not to mention an interesting choice of hairstyle.

Fashion Sense Skips a Generation

Tie dyed shirt, check. Strechy pants, check. Hat just a tad bit off center, check. Complete lack of fashion sense, complete. Even RuPaul would be ashamed. I mean, seriously people. Be a good friend. Don't let friends make bad choices. It's not hard to ask somebody, "you are going to wear that?" And if they are, well, then it's your obligation as a friend to set the record straight. Please, for the sake of the children, the children's children, and so forth, let's stop this terrible epidemic before it gets any worse.

Free and Easy

Let's just say, there are certain people who can walk around shirtless...you are not one of them. For the benefit of, well, everybody, it's just best if you cover up. And, if you do have a "better half", shame on them for letting you leave the house like that. Think of all the people who have the sight of him walking at them burned into their retinas for life. And the little children having nightmares about those jiggling man-boobs. So sad.

-Thanks to "screaminggore" for their submission.

Straight Edge Society

I don't claim to get it. I understand the basic concepts of "straight edge". Unfortunately, in the no drugs or alcohol or whatnot, does it say anything about not making a bad decision. Guys with a stud earring, fine, go nuts. But this...most guys buy big expensive, extravagant things in order to compensate for something. I guess he didn't get the memo.

Devil's Army? More like Devil's Coast Guard

Looks like somebody went shopping at Hot Topic! I was trying to figure out how and why she chose this outfit to wear to Canal Fest. To me, boots are not the best choice for extended periods of walking. But it occurred to me this is probably what she wears every single day. Shocking she would even consider covering up her tattoo on her right leg. Shame.

Back in 19-ot-6...

There comes a time in your life when you just don't care about much anymore. Let the beard grow in honor of ZZ Top, allowing it to hold onto food from meals long ago. Kill all plants and small animals within a five foot radius simply with your body odor. Fashion, bah! Who needs that!? And laundry, well, laundry is a bad word. And let's not forget about eating cat food off of a garbage can at Canal Fest. Yes, these are the days we all look forward to.

Three's Company

The only thing better than his amazing fashion sense, were his sweet dance moves. Michael Jackson has nothing on this guy. And the sweat pants tucked into the socks...the pièce de résistance. Oh, and the three heads were just a tad creepy. Not the guy I want to run into in a dark ally.

Mmmm...candy apple

Not shocking it takes a candy coating to get her to eat an apple. If you're gonna eat something healthy, might as well cover it in a thick layer of something tasty. And you may want to remove that bracelet while you still can. A few more candy apples and you're gonna lose that hand...OH! Wait! But then you could get a sweet hook to hold more than one candy apple at once. I call that a win. So, I for one say eat, girl, eat.

I think I'm cute, I know I'm sexy

"What? You can't tell I've been working out? Check out my abs!" These soldiers do everything they can for our country, and this is how they are repaid? Being hit on by Doris Grossman from "The Critic"? (Yes, a short lived mid-90's cartoon reference. Look it up!) Anyways, I'm glad I can't hear that conversation. You roll the shirt up anymore, this picture goes from being PG-13 to NC-17.

Baby got back...rack...

Damn, girl! You have a better set of boobs on your back than some have up front. It's hard to tell if you're coming or going. Now I ain't no doctor, but it may be in your best interest to have a few less perogies at the Polish tent next time. Just saying.

The chick in the crying game is really a man...

Gilligan here wandered in the beer tent complete with his Sparks in a paper bag. Classy. Aside from being slightly funny stumbling around trying to use his cell phone, it was borderline PoCF material. Then the realization set in. This was no man...

I think he can hear you Ray...

Yikes! It's the Cracker Jack mascot gone, horribly, horribly wrong. Overalls that aren't quite going over all. I for one hope there is something else, anything else, under them. But, it was hot and humid, so the odds are not in favor of that. Also, bonus points for the guy in the cowboy hat who was dancing all by himself.